Lunatiquely,
Lemon
I am a contradiction, a living breathing oxymoron.
I am a perfectionist who is too lazy to pursue perfection.
I am a narcisst with an inferior complex.
I am not crazy, not insane just slightly unstable mentally with highly volatile emotions.
I am a fundamentally selfish person.
I am Lemon.
Lunatiquely Lemon.
Or in simpler terms,
The epic phail attempts at philosophical musing by a yellow, sour citrus fruit that claims to be sweet ^^
Quick to anger and jump to wrong conclusions and all that bullshit.
When I calm down and think it through, it is actually entirely and completely my own fault.
I shall try to stop thinking so much and tune out that voice in my head that plays on my insecurities and my fears.
Every single damn thing.
No one to blame but myself.
Will I stop feeling so indignant when I stop putting the blame on others and just take myself accountable?
This will take time and a hell lot of pain.
I need to rebuild the walls I let down so people can't hurt me that easily anymore.
I don't think I can stand it, this mental self torment that opens old wounds, make new ones and drives me out of my mind.
Its not the first time, not the second.
The pain makes me angry and indignant.
Why the heck do I have to put up with the pain while the other party sleeps peacefully, unaware of my pain?
So I have to put up walls again.
If I can somehow learn not to blame anyone and understand that the problem just lies with me, maybe my life will be easier without having to factor in other people.
There would just be me.
Lunatiquely yours,
Lemon
`iRained
| Stark Raving Lunacy|