Lunatiquely,
Lemon
I am a contradiction, a living breathing oxymoron.
I am a perfectionist who is too lazy to pursue perfection.
I am a narcisst with an inferior complex.
I am not crazy, not insane just slightly unstable mentally with highly volatile emotions.
I am a fundamentally selfish person.
I am Lemon.
Lunatiquely Lemon.
Or in simpler terms,
The epic phail attempts at philosophical musing by a yellow, sour citrus fruit that claims to be sweet ^^
My shoulders and arms are like chao ta and I got a black circle on my lower back cuz of my swimming costume BUT TODAY WAS SUCH EPIC FUN.
If it not because of my ears and the burns, today would have been almost perfect.
Let's go swimming again darlings and the next time, the more the merrier k?
I wanna thank my darlings for telling me what they did today at the pool because I am so emotionally retarded and dense when it comes to stuff like this. I'll need a lot more advice on this kind of matters so I hope they won't give up on this moronic fruit.
That aside, I have a confession to make. I am a bloody coward who runs away from things I am unsure of or have no control over.
I am actually terrified about how people feel about me or think of me. Probably everyone else in the world as well to a certain extent. I cannot deal with it so I throw caution to the wind and behave most outrageously sometimes and am impossibly quiet and hopefully unnoticeable other times. But I tend to think the worst of myself so I use projection and think that they must think I am *insert all negative adjectives*.
I'm freaking paranoid.
And I'm actually a die-hard romantic. I am the kind of girl who reads romance novels and watches chick flicks and thinks, 'wouldn't it be nice if that could happen in reality?' I love hugging my girlfriends and family cuz I am the skinship kind, I crave affection. I hate being weak but I'm tired of trying to be strong, tired of protecting instead of being protected. Which is soooo contrary to my image and it shocks even me. My trying to be a girl terrifies me as well because I haven't tried to be one in forever.
Omigosh, just admitting this terrifies me.
Maybe I should change the title of this post to 'Terror' since I keep mentioning being terrified about stuff.
I still haven't seem to have found my mind. I am horribly shatter brained and forgetful. Even more so than usual. Its scary. I think one day I might just leave the house and roam around and find myself in a place I had no intentions of even going. I feel like I'm being blur and numbing something deliberately on a sub conscious level.
Look, I even forgot what I was about to type out just now.
Let's just turn in for the day and stop taxing my half baked and waterlogged brain.
"...I am arriving, as everyone's leaving. But there you are waiting. Something is wrong. Where did I go right? How did I get you? How come all these blue sky is around me, and you found me. Where did I go right..."
Lunatiquly yours,
Lemon
`iRained
| Stark Raving Lunacy|